Hopelessly

Rick Astley

I walk the wire every night
I can't decide between wrong and right
I've lost control over the things I do
Cos I'm hopelessly falling in love with you

Now the one who never took a chance
Becomes a victim of circumstance
I've lost my way, now I'm so confused
Cos I'm hopelessly falling in love with you

All my dreams are far behind me
They don't matter any more
I don't care about the things I could lose
Cos I'm hopelessly falling in love with you

Now the one who always played it safe
Becomes another who's lost his way
I can't believe it, though I know it's true
Cos I'm hopelessly falling in love with you

And all my dreams begin to blind me
They don't matter anymore/I was so confused
And I don't care about the things I could lose
Cos I'm hopelessly falling in love with you

I'm not gonna fight it, I'm gonna choose
To hopelessly fall, oh yeah
You know I'll hopelessly fall in love, with you

Thanks to Gino for playing this song in his car. Memories! Reminded me how beautiful the words are. I especially like the last stanza. Loving is a choice. And yes, I'm so happy for you. Uuuuyyyyy.

Craving for Bone

Bulalo, that is. Lecheng Raymund Isaac na 'yan, after a photo shoot in Kamagong, we got to talking about food. And he recommended ordering Iloilo-style bulalo at nearby Patpat's Kansi Bulalo (Kamagong cor. Sampaloc St., Makati behind Metrobank) at night, freeze, then fry the pieces the next day for breakfast. Serve with fried rice.

Shhit. Ordinarily, the usual suspects and I go here late at night. But the breakfast idea, I can't get it out of my mind.

I've been eating well lately, thanks to Waya's diet (damay ako hehe she prepares healthy food--imagine salad, fruit, fritata (egg dish) and toasted wheat bread in the morning washed down with soy milk. I only eat when hungry. And now, because of I'm craving Kansi's again. Shet. Self-control.

The Excitement: Where Art Thou?

No, it's not the 'excitement' as Frank McCourt used it in "Angela's Ashes." (Have you read this book? It made me cry. Read it). I refer to the feeling of excitement for life in general, that giddiness, eagerness and "gigil" kids have to explore, discover and experience.

Lately, it seems, I've experienced (almost) everything in the world and constantly come up with the irritating conclusion (which pops in my brain at odd moments of the day) that nothing can faze or surprise or disappoint me anymore.

It can be both a good and bad thing. Good in supposedly stressful, problematic situations and especially when dealing with having to forget an ex; bad when waking up to another ordinary day and trying to drum up the eagerness to dive into something you do *ugh* over and over again.

Excitement. The word is tied up to the word wonder.

Kids possess this sense of wonder.

Wait. Is this why they came up with the word wonderful?

So is that when you're full of wonder, you find the world a wonderful place?

I'm rambling.

I figured, what are the things that absolutely excite me? I can start from there. I'm excited over fashion, accessories, great design, great films, interesting books, pop culture, food, beauty, men and makeup.

Did you notice siningit ko and men haha.

oOo

I think I could make a good counselor or psychiatrist. People just open up to me like *that*. If I charged all the people who vented out to me about their problems in my entire lifetime to date--maybe like P400 per hour puwede na hahaha-including the random people in airplanes and airports who share their life story to me, I'd have extra money to buy all the designer bags I like to own.

Thing is, I don't mind listening to other people. I love to see how people view things and how they would do things differently. Most of the things I've learned (really learned) I never really got from books or school. I learned more from trying and failing (generally, living) and most of all, listening to people and asking questions who've been there or are experts in their field. You get more of the unwritten or "gray area" solutions books don't usually give you that way.

Which explains why reading other people's biographies interests me. You learn more about how to run a business or investing in stocks or overcoming setbacks this way. And you find out, hey, if THEY can do that, I can too! If Abe Lincoln failed at every business he started but kept trying and lived to become president of the United States, it's worth going on and on, picking yourself up and trying after you've failed. Really, nobody's watching you anyway. Try it. It works for me. Clearly, the day I realized that nobody was really watching my every move (except myself) is the day I let go, did the things I wanted to do without any care about what other people thought and generally had fun.

If you're bored reading this, WHY are you even here?! So don't complain. :P

Plans

I have lots. :) Excited.

oOo

I love Muji. It's no-prints, basic, lightweight stuff I can mix and match. Most of the stuff I bought in Bangkok are from Muji. I just hope the laundromat doesn't destroy them and forget that all my knits are "gentle cycle" only. Kairita when my precious clothes come back with pilling under the armhole and near hems. Ang hirap kaya to find the right clothes in the right size with the right silhouette.

If I could afford it, I'd buy 3 of each style so when one gets too old and frayed, I'd have another as backup. I've done it with shoes, which my parents find hard to understand. Three pairs of the same white sneakers--is that hard to understand? White sneakers have to remain white. And if it starts to yellow, goodbye. It's like teeth. Nothing ruins a look more than flashing discolored teeth, no matter how fabulous your lipstick and lipgloss are.

oOo

I just realized how shallow I can be sometimes. Sometimes lang.

Giles for Mulberry

Weird combination. Mulberry has always been classic in its styling. Then comes fashion wunderkind Giles Deacon who infuses studs and metal into the button-down bag brand. But surprisingly, the results are not bad.

Kate Moss Top Shop in June

Yup was in ATC Top Shop with Waya and saw the flyer: Kate Moss Top Shop will be available by June 1. Will it create the same frenzy as it did in the UK and the US? Let's see. So far, based on the stuff I've seen online, they're not great, really. On Kate Moss, sure, they look fabulous. But on lesser beings, not really something to go crazy about IMHO.

Downy Perfume?

Meron kaya nito? I remember the one thing I remember one of my exes by: the great smell of his neck. And then I realized it wasn't his perfume or his natural smell I was enamored of. It was the fabric conditioner smell of his shirts!

So I Googled, and lo and behold, ebay has Perfume Cologne Oil of Downy April Fresh. I wonder how this works. Kasi if it's a perfume that smells a lot like Downy, I'd be the first in line to buy.

The Old Grenade Maneuver

We were talking about relationships last night at good old 121 with the usual suspects. About men and women. The mating game, etc.

I mentioned the old grenade maneuver, taught to me by a good old male friend. It goes like this: Approach. Throw. And retreat.

It's like putting someone on drugs with attention, flattery and flirtation. Then you withdraw. When you suddenly stop, the other party gets awful withdrawal pangs and chases after you.

Irritating but yes, it works on women. The thing is, I know this for a fact, it works on men, too.

Sibling Talk to Green Talk

I just talked to Jojo, my younger brother, on YM. And I suddenly miss him. We always fought when we were kids. I hated him then but only in a childlike hate way. Now, we understand each other more as adults it's awesome and he always takes care of me when I'm in New York. Actually, he feels more like a kuya than a younger brother.

I remember when we watched When Harry Met Sally and El Pinoy Matador on betamax over and over again, and how we would laugh at the same parts and memorize the same lines. Ano ba ba't naiiyak ako. I owe him a copy of El Pinoy Matador DVD pa hahaha ang jologs.

oOo

Today, ako'y nagpakakikay at trip lang, nagpa-blowdry ako ng hair before going to work at the nearby Piandre near Blanco. Andun na rin lang ako, I got a quick manicure lang to fix my straggly cuticles. By the way, may Solar Oil na sa Piandre! P100 lang to soften and moisturize your nails and cuticles. This was only available in the States. The cute thing is, they sold a small teeny tiny nail polish bottle version so it's easy to carry in your bag and moisturize your nails anywhere.

Teka, na sidetrack ako. Nagpapaka-environmentalist ako eh.

Yeah, sa counter ng Piandre was a flyer that said: "Do your part to stop global warming. A friendly reminder from Piandre's Earthcare Project." Oh-ha.

I LOVE Piandre's services-laging quality service and sulit everything. The staff also have great haircuts and blowouts. Isn't it irritating when you go to a salon and the one doing your haircut or giving you a blowdry have terrible haircuts? Or terrible color jobs?

Anyway, na sidetrack na naman ako.

Inside the green flyer was a primer on Changing Incandescent Bulbs to Compact Flourescent (CFL) bulbs. Apparently, doing this ONE simple thing will do a big big favor to Mother Nature.

Aside from lowering your electricity bills by HALF (yes, you heard it right), they last longer--like 15 times longer. Which means you need to change bulbs less. You''ll also lower carbon dioxide emissions by as much as 2,197 lbs.

So do that now. It's simple. Look for the "Energy Star" label, the most energy-efficient CF bulbs. The flyer suggests GE bulbs which do not flicker. Gusto ko lang i-share. It's simple, easy and anyone can do it. Do it na.

The Pattern Must End

I've decided. Suddenly, I'm all excited.

oOo

Sam played Nancy Nimble in "Goosical", a Trumpets play, last Saturday. Made me laugh when she waved hello from the stage. Ngek. We had family lunch at Good Earth, Metrowalk then home to QC.

Back in Makati now. Did errands: grocery, brought out garbage, got laundry delivered, folded my clothes and......yes, nag-sulsi ako ng damit hahaha. Was planning to get it done by the alteration shop pa in front of us but I thought, "I can do this." And so I did. :)

I need more drawers. OR need to get rid of old clothes.

Checked Zara in Glorietta and beamed with pride over the fact that I save almost P3,000 by buying clothes in Zara Bangkok. Quite cheaper there, and 3% VAT refundable pa for tourists. *Happiness* Even my Phyto and YSl Touche Eclat is horribly expensive here duh. Even the Shu Uemura curler.

I wanna go back to Bangkok to shop.

Helping the World

One small step at a time. Learn how here.

Ten to One

Tagged by Issy. All the people in my link lists, you're tagged, too. :)

TEN Women you find sexy

Sexy ha hindi pretty. My list:

1. Scarlett Johannsen
2. Dita von Teese
3. Kate Hudson
4. Monica Bellucci
5. Carmen Electra
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. Drew Barrymore
8. Eva Longoria
9. Angelina Jolie
10. Jessica Alba

NINE People you would invite to a special party

1. Tom Ford
2. Audrey Hepburn
3. Marc Jacobs
4. Sophia Coppola
5. Gandhi
6. Tim Gunne
7. Kate Moss
8. Gino
9. Paolo
10. Waya


EIGHT sure fire ways to get your attention (positive and negative)
1. Wear a totally smashing outfit
2. Mention Douglas Coupland
3. Make me laugh
4. Love books
5. Love food
6. Smell good/awesome
7. Text using entire words (wow mature hehe wala lang)
8. Be humble
9. Be passionate about something, anything


SEVEN pet peeves
1. Waiting in line
2. Praning, restless people
3. Iceberg lettuce. eek nag lettuce ka pa
4. pleated pants on men
5. Laundry that doesn't have that fresh fabric conditioner smell
6. My heels getting scratched/rubbed/scuffed
7. Ungroomed brows (on myself)


SIX Women you look up to
1. Oprah Winfrey
2. Condoleeza Rice
3. Bobby Brown
4. Phoebe Philo
5. Sofia Coppola
6. Josephine Baker


FIVE random things about you
1. I love peaches.
2. I buy notebooks even when I don't need them.
3. I took bag making classes in Marikina (and made a badly sewn bag hehe)
4. I drink a dozen of vitamins and supplements daily.
5. I can speed read 3 books in a day, non-stop (if I like them)

FOUR most romantic songs (music)
1. Fields of Gold by Sting
2. It Had to Be You by Harry Connick Jr.
3. The Fear You Won't Fall by Joshua Radin
4. The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra


THREE places you want to take a vacation in
1. South Africa
2. Sweden
3. Costa Rica


TWO turn ons
1. Freshly showered smell
2. Competence/Confidence


ONE unforgettable moment
1. :)

No to (Plastic) Supot

In the course of the greening of fashion, designers have been coming out with their version of the tote (in place of the plastic bag) or what have been termed as "eco totes."

There's the Prince's Trust bags by Walé Adeyemi, £4.99 from Superdrug, the tote that started it all. After Kate Moss was shot using one, over 50,000 were sold just like that. The Plant More Trees bag, £10 from Dorothy Perkins. Sue Ryder bags by Antoni & Alison, £9.99. Limited stocks of I'm Not a Plastic Bag available from http://www.wearewhatwedo.org

The production of plastic bags causes pollution, and requires the use of non-renewable resources such as petroleum. Each of the estimated 10 billion plastic bags used every year by UK consumers, for example, will take between 400 and 1,000 years to decompose, perhaps suffocating a sea turtle or a baby bird in the meantime. Only one in 200 of them gets recycled. Most of us go through an average of 167 plastic bags each year.

Paper bags decompose in a month, which sounds fantastic until you learn that plastic bags consume 40 per cent less energy to produce and generate 80 per cent less solid waste. It takes 90 per cent less energy to recycle a pound of plastic than to recycle a pound of paper.

Even "biodegradable" bags are unpopular with green campaigners - their production causes as much pollution as regular plastic, and mixing them with conventional plastic bags for recycling can render entire batches of recyclable plastic useless because of the sorting nightmare it entails.

Campaigners recommend reusable bags made from hemp or organic cotton; neither requires harmful pollutants for production.

So get those tote bags out. Stop using plastic bags.

Office Supply Chic

What results when you combine packs of steel rings, gold safety pins, a bored me and a bit of time while getting a foot spa and pedicure.

Bangkok in Pictures

More here.

Finally Found Him!

And her.

Can't believe I finally found him-him, being my Jack Purcells! In white leather!

And, of all places, in a small stall atthe ground floor of Bangkok's MBK a the unbelievable price of 1,700+ baht only. Which I find hard to believe because they're being sold at Zappos for US$55.00.

Was suspecting it might be fake at first. But no, I checked the tag, the box, the store, the heel. It's genuine. The real deal man.

Then there's the pair of silver open-toe shoes with metal heels at Zara in my size! They don't have my size in Manila so finding this, serendipitiously without any effort, simply mean it was destiny. Meant to be ito.

Bangkok Holiday

Back!

Shopped to death.

And I didn't vote.

Grammar Police

Actress A, denying talking to ex about reviving their relationship:
"Naku, we didn't even brought it up na!"

Actress B, waxing philosophical, talking about how she felt about winning an award:

"(excited) Naku, it was sooo wonderful. It was all so sooreeel (surreal)!"

*rolling eyes"

Weekend Trip

Going here. Will be back next week. Yay.

Lupo the Butcher

I wrote a testimonial for my friend Gino, and I remembered how we bonded by watching Lupo the Butcher--on Laser Disc pa (shows how old we are hehe). I love Lupo the Butcher. It was the 90s. Bago pa lang MTV nun hehe and I don't remember any VJs yet. Remember David Wu? I wonder what he's doing now.

Trust

In any relationship, to me, this is the most important element. Trust implies openness, honesty and respect for the other. An implicit belief that the other person will not do anything intentionally harmful to the other or break an agreement without meaning to.

It is very hard when someone you thought you trusted did something that you never thought they'd do, something that implied disrespect and utter selfishness and lack of consideration.

I can take it from some people who don't really mean anything in my life. But coming from the closest people in my life, it can be hard to overlook and forget. Which explains maybe why I am in such a dark mood lately. No one's there for me lately, which never really bothered me that much--I am that independent and strong--but somehow, it's especially irritating lately, I feel a lump in my chest that won't go away.

Clearly, if the very people who are supposed to be the first ones to love and respect you do the opposite, how can you go on? With difficulty, yes. But with much prayer, personal strength and self-respect, I think one can, though barely. I've done it before. I can do it again.

Venting It Out On My Hair

I'm in some sort of funk which I can't seem to get out of. In the consequence, as befits the cliche, I almost got my hair dyed blonde or worse, cut ultra short. Hahaha. Good thing good sense came over me. The skies seem perenially covered with dark clouds lately I can't think straight.

Funny, what was supposed to be a simple trim turned into a color job. Then a subtle highlight job. Then a Kerastase Aqua Oleum job (this shit works like magic, I wanna pour it over my head everyday--if I could afford to). And then the haircut. I ended up spending over P4k on my hair alone. Though admittedly, it was well worth the P4k+, it was an unplanned expense. Then again, I haven't had a haircut for months now.

I have great hair. But I am still in a black mood.

Missing My Mom

I just YMed with my mom who's in the US. Felt amused and sad at the same time. She's never YMed before so it's tickling my bone how she's done it with the help of my brother-in-law.

I never thought I'd miss her. It's been just a few months but I miss her a lot. I don't have any sister and she may as well be my sister. She has her faults and we argue sometmes. And she can be infuriating sometimes, though never intentioally. But I guess this is what you call unconditional love.

Despite all her faults, I love my mom. Wish she was here on Mother's Day.

Same goes with my dad. But I say this with a lot more hesitation.

Seeing Green

"While it's easy to be seduced by the fanfare surrounding Al Gore's not-too-preachy pièce de résistance, the allure of Prius-driving celebs and the adorableness of Knut, Berlin Zoo's new polar bear cub, you'd have to be living under a (melting) ice cap to miss the point: our little planet is in serious trouble.

And while it's not easy being green, at least now it's a little more fun with the light-hearted yet sage wisdom of Style Will Save Us, a self-proclaimed "digital magazine for a peachy lifestyle." (Don't worry, one of the things you'll learn is you won't have to jettison your highly-evolved personal style with your decadent ways.)

Dedicated to showcasing methods and products that are not only ethically irreproachable but aesthetically pleasing, the UK-based website covers beauty, fashion, food, home and lifestyle with short, entertaining and informative featurettes. Additional sections invite readers to "Act" with tips, polls, a guilt-racking little thing called "Carbon Kicker" and a calendar of events around the world.

A green guru answers composting questions and a message board takes us fashion types to task ("We're desperate for Sonia Rykiel to go eco! Who do you wish would catch up on the ethical front?"). At once eco-friendly and style-conscious—or is that eco-conscious and style-friendly?—the site is proof you no longer have to go grouchy to go green."

-HintMag.com

I Will NOT Be a Victim

I will NOT be a victim to my hormones.
I will NOT be a victim to my hormones.
I will NOT be a victim to my hormones.
I will NOT be a victim to my hormones.

Too late. Pass me the St. John's Wort.